Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
