Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
