Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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