that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
