is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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