cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
