I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
