i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
