HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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