what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
