My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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