I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
