I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
accomplished twins. life is a go
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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