I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
