it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
