it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
