I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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