what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
