I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you inspire me to be a worse person
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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