He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
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i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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