Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
