I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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