so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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