I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
