Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
