Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Boobs are out for the taking
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
