Non-Jews are for practice
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
