I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I enjoy the company of your penis
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
