If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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