and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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