I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
