My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
