i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
