Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
