We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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