Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
