i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My life is pants optional.
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