he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
