If i come over, it means nothing
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
