There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
