Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When are your genitals available?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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