Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
