I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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