My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
