I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
