before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
