She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So vagazzling was a success
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
