did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize