Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
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I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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