We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
