She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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