I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
