im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
