Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
