we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
