Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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