margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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