We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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