my shit smells like andre
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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