Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
