The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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