too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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