I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
